


When We're Not Training

by InsaneJul



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: D.Va and Lúcio are memes, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Scene Gone Wrong, Shower Sex, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJul/pseuds/InsaneJul
Summary: D.Va and Lúcio are memes, and they have a plan for a new prank! It doesn't go according to plan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My little meme babies. This is based off a short video that Lúcio's voice actor, Jonny Cruz, made. You can find a compilation of them here: http://play-boi-ninja.tumblr.com/post/153132877283/lucios-voice-actor-johnny-cruz-is-a-doll. It's specifically the shower one. Also, Mchanzo pops into all my overwatch fics mostly because it's my roommate's OTP and I'm conditioned to believe it's canon. No judgements here.

            It started out innocently enough. D.Va’s and Lúcio’s fame brought Overwatch back into the spotlight, and their fans demanded to know what being in a military organization famous for its downfall was like. So, they slowly began to fall into memes.

            D.Va and Lúcio loved internet jokes. They started making prank videos and jokes of each other. These videos blew up online, making the other members of Overwatch start to wonder if they could really have a place in this world again. They let the younger soldiers have their fun—it wasn’t like they were hurting anyone, anyway. At least, not at first.

            “Wouldn’t it be funny if I pretended to prank you, but then you were actually doing something unexpected?” Hana asked one day, and Lúcio’s face lit up.

            “That’s a great idea! How about…in the shower?”

  
            “I could pour cold water on you in the shower.”

            “And I could not be actually showering! Like, wearing clothes and stuff!”

            Hana laughed. “That’s amazing! But we better practice first.”

  
            They didn’t exactly ask if Hana could be in the men’s shower room. But, they figured, it wasn’t too big of a deal, especially since it was the middle of the day. When they entered, Lúcio wearing a slightly too-big suit he bought at a thrift store and Hana carrying a gallon of cold water and a cup, no one else was in there. They set up a little scene in the shower where Lúcio appeared to be on a phone conference in front of a desk, and rehearsed Hana pouring the glass of cold water into the shower one-handed with her camera. Once they were almost sure they had it right, they would have shot it, but Ana started shouting for them.

            Ana was not pleased the two youngsters had been spending all day practicing a silly online video, but since they were immediately willing to clean up and start training with her, she forgave them. Lúcio promised D.Va they could do it later that night.

            After training, Hana grabbed all the props she needed once again and started searching for Lúcio, who had ended up with Mercy in the medical bay. “Hey, Jesse. Have you seen Lúcio?” She asked as she passed the cowboy wannabe in the hallway.

            “Sorry, kiddo, haven’t seen him since this morning. You guys got something planned?” He winked conspiratorially.

            She rolled her eyes. “Not like _that_. We’re just having a little fun, that’s all.”

            “So _that’s_ what the kids are calling it these days.”

            “Shut up, McCree!” She groaned, but they both knew she was laughing at him anyway.

            “Good luck finding him,” he offered, and headed off.

            Hana found her way to the medical bay and Lúcio was still in there with Mercy and Torbjorn, getting an upgrade to the healing rounds in his sonic rifle. She knocked on the door and when he looked up, he grinned at her, held up a finger to the others, and went over to see what she wanted.

            “You wanna do this video tonight?” she asked.

            “Yeah, sure. Give me like five minutes. We are so close to done. Meet me in the showers, okay?”

            “All righty!” she skipped off and sat down in her room, finding time for a few levels of the newest puzzle game on her phone and a couple posts talking about posting a new video. After a while of playing, she looked at the time and gasped. “I was supposed to meet him almost ten minutes ago!”

            D.Va ran into the showers with her water and glass, and found only one of the showers running. It must be Lúcio, waiting for her. She grinned and turned on her phone camera, smiling into it.

            “Lúcio’s in the shower,” she whispered to her viewers. “I’m gonna pour cold water on him!”

            She snuck up to the shower and poured the glass of water over the top. What happened next wasn’t what she expected. Hana’s hold on the camera remained steady, but she jumped when she heard a loud, low curse. It was not Lúcio’s voice.

           “What the FUCK?”

           The shower curtain was wrenched aside from behind to reveal a very angry, very wet, and very naked Jesse McCree. Hana gasped and pulled back as he growled at her.

           “What the fuck were you doing, Hana?”

            All she could do was gape at him, until the curtain was pushed back more, and Hanzo Shimada stood behind it (with the decency to cover himself that Jesse lacked).

            “Let the girl have her fun, Jesse.”

  
            “Hana, that was NOT COOL. Holy hell, you scared the shit out of me. And worst of all, you ruined the mood.”

  
            She still couldn’t say anything. D.Va was rooted to the spot. This was the last thing she had expected. There was nothing for her to do.

            Then a voice called for her. “Hana! Hey, girl, are you around here? It took me longer than I expected to finish the upgrades. Sorry about that, but you ready? I’m ready to do this!” Lúcio entered the shower to see a bristling, naked McCree looming over a tiny, horrified D.Va. “Whoa, uh, what did I miss?”

  
            “Hana poured cold water on us during the shower,” Hanzo said calmly, and Lúcio half jumped.

            “Jesus, Hanzo, I didn’t even know you were there! Wait—did you—were you two— “

  
            “He was shocked and it was very uncomfortable. I see now you two were planning something funny. Jesse, get back in here and get clean,” he let the shower curtain fall back into place.

            “You got lucky this time, kids,” Jesse warned Hana and Lúcio. “Be more careful in the future.”

  
            Hana started giggling uncontrollably as he stepped back in the shower. She almost fell over.

            “What the hell’s so funny?”

  
            “I just…can’t take your threats seriously when your dick is pointing at me!” She landed on her butt on the slick tile floor, holding her sides. Lúcio started laughing too.

            “Fucking kids. I swear.”

  
            “Stop worrying about it,” Hanzo said, and then the room went quiet. Hana pulled herself up, still wracked with laughter, and pulled Lúcio out of the room.

            “We should probably give them some privacy,” she snorted. He laughed along with her as they dragged all the paraphernalia back to her room.

 


End file.
